LargeAccountNotes

The weasel doesn't wish the chickens a Happy New Year.
New Year greetings are too troublesome. Now they’ve changed their tactics.
On the cliff where chickens often forage, two signs are erected:
One reads: If you don't work hard to spread your wings and fly high, how can you know you're not an eagle?
The other says: Only by giving your all can you avoid regrets.
And so, the weasel lives a luxurious life beneath the cliff, enjoying meat and wine every day.
Because every day, countless chickens fall from the cliff, often badly injured—some with broken arms, some with broken legs, and

Today I came across a netizen who is simply a genius.
He proposed a good way to increase the marriage and birth rates.
Anyone taking the civil service exam or the staffing exam must hold a marriage certificate to receive their exam admission ticket.
Additionally, having one child adds five points, two children add ten points, and three children are exempt from the exam altogether.
Divorce is not allowed within five years; if divorced, the original employer will revoke the certification.

The billionaire’s dog got lost while out for a walk, and he posted a dog search notice on a TV station:
“Dog is lost; reward for returning it: 10,000 yuan.”
A large, colorful photo of the puppy was still on the screen.
Soon, the people bringing the dog kept coming one after another, and the billionaire kept saying, “It isn’t my family’s dog.”
The billionaire’s wife thought to herself: The one who picked up the dog must think the reward is too small. This is a purebred Irish champion dog!
So, the billionaire increased the reward to 20,000 yuan.
This dog was picked up by a beggar while he was na

Today I returned to the countryside for a funeral. There’s an old man in his 60s in the village who is planning to remarry.
The bride’s dowry is 180,000 yuan, and she’s asking the children to chip in.
It turns out the old man’s first love, who had married far away, has returned. Her husband just passed away a month ago. She can’t walk well and is in a wheelchair, not wanting to burden her children.
Besides the 180,000 yuan dowry, she also demands that the old man’s son and daughter-in-law serve her, and explicitly states that they must be buried together with her and the previous wife in

An old Chinese medicine doctor came to a remote mountain village.
The people here favor boys over girls. Seeing this situation, he felt he had found a way to get rich.
He put up a sign: "Boy-Only Formula, 10 taels per dose. If it doesn't work, the full price will be refunded, and an additional 2 taels compensation."
The villagers were skeptical at first, but gradually more and more people chose to believe.
After all, they wouldn't lose anything, so why not give it a try?
There are over 100 households in the entire village, almost every family bought it. The old Chinese medicine docto

I heard that there are no depression cases in Guangdong.
A friend from Guangdong said: When he was in school, there was a period of time when he didn't want to go to school and was in a very bad mood, feeling like he wanted to die.
His mother hired a local shamaness. The shamaness tied him to a chair, burned a talisman paper in front of him, and then turned the burned talisman into spiritual water.
She took out a whip from her bag, dipped it in the spiritual water, and then whipped him. It hurt so much that he grimaced and yelled loudly.
The shamaness told his mother, “Look, the child's soul h

Probably about ten years ago.
That summer, I was doing odd jobs near Guanlan Datikeng, and after adding extra hours at night, I headed back on foot.
On the way home, I ran into a girl by the roadside.
She didn’t look very old—more like around 20 years old—wasn’t very tall, and her skin was a bit dark. She spoke very softly to me: “30 yuan each time. My family hasn’t eaten—we only accept cash.”
I took the money out of my pocket, gave her 30, and just walked away. I didn’t look back, and I didn’t say a word.
If I were going to go, it was definitely not something I’d do. That moment rea

A couple came to the Civil Affairs Bureau to get a divorce. They didn’t argue or cause trouble, and the staff thought: If the divorce goes smoothly like this, it’s better—no need for mediation, just let them go ahead.
The next day, the woman who just divorced yesterday brought a man to get married again. The staff noticed that the woman looked a bit familiar and asked, “Are you the one who just divorced yesterday?” The woman replied, “Yes.”
The staff looked at the man she brought today and felt something was off: “This man looks a bit like the man from yesterday, doesn’t he?”
Guess who s

The Sadness of Straw
Yesterday, I had dinner with a girl.
The girl said: "My ex-boyfriend is 6 feet tall, with an annual salary of one million. I think you're not good enough for me."
I: Why didn't you say that before dinner? Are you planning to go back to your ex now?
Girl: Not exactly, I just feel we're not a good match.
I: Have you ever heard of the sadness of straw?
It's about a piece of straw that someone temporarily uses to tie a large crab. After the crab is eaten, the straw is used to tie a cabbage, and it feels like the cabbage is not good enough for it.
In reality, this

While taking the subway this afternoon, a four or five-year-old boy was crying and fussing to play with my phone.
I didn't know him, so I ignored him. Unexpectedly, the boy's mother not only didn't stop him but also glared at me.
As the boy's crying grew louder, an auntie came over and said to me, "What's wrong with letting the kid play with someone else's phone? He won't break it."
She then handed her own phone to the boy. The boy took it, looked at it, and directly threw it on the ground, shouting, "I don't like this."
At that moment, my mood, honestly, was so grateful...
If any on

An older guy lived with his first love for more than two years, doing everything they were supposed to do and everything they weren’t. Later, for unknown reasons, they broke up. A few years later, the girl got married and had a child. One day, he ran into his ex-girlfriend on the street and noticed she was with a kid who looked remarkably like him.
This brings up an old saying called “First Husband’s Genetics,” which suggests that if a woman has been with her previous partner, she might pass on his traits to her future children. But in reality, this saying has no scientific basis; it’s just a

My friend quit his job and now hires elderly villagers to collect debts.
Hiring young people often leads to fights, and hiring strong men risks being accused of blackmail.
These elderly workers are low-cost and surprisingly effective.
Security guards in the community don’t dare to stop them, and debtors don’t dare to make a move.
The key is, they have plenty of time.
Debtors fear this kind of gentle pressure the most. They’re not afraid of force, but they fear the elders coming softly.
Just a slight touch from these elders, and the medical bills will be higher than the debt itself—

An elderly man got angry at the bank and said: "Ten years ago, a bowl of beef noodles cost 4 yuan. I deposited 10,000 yuan in your bank, which is equivalent to 2,500 bowls of beef noodles. Now, beef noodles have risen to 10 yuan each. The 10,000 yuan I deposited, including interest, is only 13,500 yuan—enough to buy just 1,350 bowls of beef noodles! I just want to know where the other 1,150 bowls went."
The bank staff looked at each other, unsure how to respond.
At this moment, a young girl who had just started her internship said: "Grandpa, you've kept your money in our bank for so long. The

My friend said he's going to buy a second-hand house today and plans to negotiate the price, feeling a bit nervous.
The seller listed it at 1.28 million, and the agent said the seller currently wants 1.18 million; he wants to get it for 1.05 million.
I told him: Here's a trick—find a dozen friends to take turns negotiating with the seller, each offering 800,000 to 900,000. After all these negotiations, you come in with an offer of 1 million.
If the seller doesn't agree, gradually increase your offer by 10,000 each time. Finally, tell the seller you'll buy at 1.05 million; if they don't a

How long after buying a car do you need an annual inspection?
· Year 1: No need to worry
· Year 2: Obtain the exemption inspection sticker from the Traffic Management 12123 app
· Year 3: No need to worry
· Year 4: Obtain the exemption inspection sticker from the Traffic Management 12123 app
· Year 5: No need to worry
· Year 6: Need to go for inspection before the annual check
· Year 7: No need to worry
· Year 8: Obtain the exemption inspection sticker from the Traffic Management 12123 app
· Year 9: No need to worry
· Year 10: Need to go to the inspection station for the annual check
Summary: F

I have a friend who owes 800,000 and is about to go crazy.
I told him: Don't pay it back, you can't afford to, keep borrowing.
He stared at me: Are you crazy?
I said: You currently owe 800,000 and are afraid to answer collection calls. But if you can grow your business to 5 million, that 800,000 becomes your "startup cost." No one will chase you anymore; instead, people will ask if you need funding.
He took it to heart. Using his last bit of credit, he maximized the leverage of his sole proprietorship, focusing on cash flow and data, not profit.
Six months later, his cash flow reache

You have two friends.
One saves up 1 million, buys a 400,000 car, finds a young model with a perfect figure as a girlfriend, and enjoys life.
After 20 years, he spends all his money and goes back to an ordinary life.
The other saves up 1 million and invests wisely, living a modest life. After 20 years, he’s living comfortably without worries about food and clothing.
But at this point, the young model stands in front of him, and he doesn’t react...
Tell me, which of these two friends is right or wrong?